Speaking of how only rapists/abusers specifically look for vulnerability to rape/abuse as an attractive quality –
People who fetishize youth (especially “teens” when you’re 20+), naivete, sexual inexperience, and a mentor role, and seek out these elements as foundational to their romantic/sexual relationships are literally looking for vulnerable people who are easy to control and abuse.
Healthy dating relationships require everyone involved to treat each other as absolute equals. When one partner sets themselves up as the person who knows best and can overrule the other partner’s boundaries whenever there’s a disagreement - that’s literally abuse.
Abuse means, at its core, that only one partner is allowed to have boundaries. Specifically seeking out people who find it hard to form or enforce boundaries is an abuser tactic.
If you only find yourself attracted to people you can easily pressure, if someone not feeling like they can say “no” to you is kind of hot to you? You’re playing by the abuser’s handbook, and you need to stop.
This might be derailing your post and I’m sorry, but I think it’s important to note that mainstream media pushes this sort of attraction. The attraction to thin, hairless, younger women, women who all together are less able to fight back. They push for older women who aren’t teens to look like teens and they push for body types that are generally unrealistic and often unhealthy. They push us towards a beauty standard that makes women easier to abuse. And they normalize going for it. The media is constantly tearing women down, for everything they are. It almost normalizes men doing it. Media romanticizes abusive relationships all the time. The media pushes all kinds of crazy diets that are often times basically eating disorders, to make women physically weaker. The media, and there by society, tries so so hard to normalize abuse. We need to keep spreading what abuse is so people are aware when things are unhealthy.
